March for the Melancholy
April 8, 2015
I wanted to begin this post by addressing the subject matter of my previous two posts regarding all that took place on March 29, 2012. First, I wanted to say that I do not intend to damage the character of the the group of friends. Although they did do some things that provoked me to feeling hurt, I also did mess up as I tried to gain their acceptance. Ever since I began counseling nearly three years ago, I have taken responsibility for my actions of vengeance towards them. That is all I wish to refer to this matter for a while.
Now I would like to give an update on my endeavors.
To be petty honest, the past month has been quite discouraging, really.
To start off the month of March, I had to pay $1000 to repair my car. The payment for these necessary repairs chopped away a significant portion of my savings. In a few months once overtime at work resumes, I should recover well.
Another disheartening moment came when I made the decision not to pursue graduate school this fall. If you have been following me, you’ll know that I applied to Master’s of social work programs at Ohio State and Miami (Oxford, Ohio). I am happy to say that both schools accepted me. Unfortunately, my present financial state is preventing me from attending these programs. Even if my education was well-covered with student loans, my graduate school experience would be nearly impossible to pursue.
The biggest thing was housing. Housing for grad school, I found out, is much different than undergraduate housing, where I paid a flat-rate fee to live in each of the residence halls I inhabited for four years. Grad school housing is more like apartment-style housing, where I would be responsible for paying month to month rent. That would not be a problem if monthly rent at one of the schools was not nearly $800. I have found that living off-campus was not much of a better option. Even at paying monthly rent around $500, other monthly expenses (like renter’s insurance and my car payment) would not allow me much money left over for groceries and gas to commute to work or school. Off-campus housing would not be so bad if I had a roommate or two. Unfortunately, I knew no one else pursuing graduate school. So, there was no alternative.
When I realized the dire nature of my current finances, I made my decision to continue working and going to back school later on in life. My hope is that I can pursue a nursing program in a few years from now. I’m sure the courses I’ve completed with my Bachelor’s degree from BG will help shorten that possible additional education. My volunteer experience at discharging patients in my local hospital also has exposed me somewhat to the environment in “the ward”. I’m sure this will also add to my success should I pursue nursing. With my car due to be paid off in less than two years, some additional education in any program at any community college is possible in the near future.
Although my post-college journey has been the most daunting, I’m still young, and I still have a lot of potential. My hope is that God will help me set up my life right so I can be completely independent and support a future wife and family of my own. I guess I shouldn’t rush things. [Wink.] I also hope that I will eventually break free of the vice the hurts and pains of my recent past have had a hold on me. Breaking free from this will allow me to heal, forgive, and strengthen me so I can pursue my purpose with a clear head.